After she left me, sadness, a sense of aloneness, and wanderlust overcame me at levels I never really felt before, and I felt a drive to get away from my town of Red Bluff and back out into nature.  So I started planning weekend hiking trips all over Northern California.  Two of those trips were to Mt. Shasta, a land well-renown for its spiritual…err…energies.  Crystals.  Lemurians.  I don’t know, I do not really consider myself a hippie or a ‘new age’ type, but I too must admit that this mountain and its surrounding lands carry a charged essence that reinvigorates the soul and provides calm to the spirit.

My first hike was to Heart Lake, a place I have been before, but equally as beautiful as my previous visit:

To get there, you need to head to Castle Lake, which is pretty well-documented and accessible from the town Mt. Shasta.  From there, you hike, honestly more scramble, over lands with only a partially-delineated trail, that snakes around the lake and through wildflowers up the mountain that sets the backdrop to the lake.

Once you make it to the top of that mountain, though, the views are stunning.  So I set down my pack and my hat, ate a fresh peach from Julia’s Fruit Stand, and just tried to meditate on life and its blessings, without really thinking too much about anything.

The process honestly brought me to tears, but it was an important first step to remind me of my faith, my heart, and everything I’ve fought for and achieved, the many blessings bestowed upon me, while living here.  Yes, I am living through trials in my life, but no those trials do not define me.  Rather, how I handle those trials defines me.  So I let go of my pain, my sorrow, and my fear, and just let the quiet whisper of Creation breathe in my stead for just a while.  And when I returned, I had the energy to push through another week.  I had the spirit to carry on.

I returned to the mountain a few weeks later, this time to Panther Meadows, which is located on Mt. Shasta proper.  The short hike offered more stunning views, this time of wildflowers galore and rocky outposts, and opportunities to recharge my soul and my faith.

Ultimately, Mt. Shasta is feminine in nature.  She nurtures your soul, and returns you to balance.  During my time there, I felt my pain diminished, and I felt myself reminded of the many students, clients, and families that love me and that I have helped in life.  With the mountain reminding me why I am here still in Northern California, a place that has only shown me pain over the past two years, I also became reminded that life is not about self-exploration.  It is about self-diminishment, as you learn that in decreasing yourself and your own life worries, troubles, and tribulations, you can serve and help others and their needs.  And in so doing you end up with a feeling far deeper than anything you could have imagined.  A type of love that does not ebb and flow with emotions and the people in your life, but that beats constant, reliable and steady as the heart.  It’s that weird religion Christianity in a nutshell, and that feeling you get when the world around you is tearing you apart and not showing you an ounce of love, but you choose to serve it and love it anyways.  It’s being misunderstood and rejected, and it’s being the victim and the hero of your story all in the same swoop.  It is the Spirit, and it is feminine in nature.

But the world cannot get by on the feminine alone.  It also needs grit, and determination, and drive, and focus.  And so I turned next to Mt. Lassen, to regain my masculine identity, and my drive to fight and advocate for those I am called to serve.

To be continued…

Cheers,

Rob